How to Make a Business Meeting More
Interesting
Take notes in finger paint.
Laugh uproariously at a quip that was made 2 or 3 minutes ago. Say, “Oh, now I get it!”
Make a face like somebody beside you farted.
Stand up and act indignant. Demand that the boss tell you the real reason this meeting has been called.
Spill coffee on the conference table. Produce a little paper boat and sail it down the table.
Stay behind as everyone else, including the boss, leaves. Thank them for coming.
Bring a hand puppet, preferably an animal. Ask it to clarify difficult points.
Wear shades and carry a walkie-talkie with an earphone. Once in a while, quietly say a few words into it.
Arrange to have a poorly-dressed young woman with an infant quietly enter the meeting, stare directly at the (male) speaker for a while, burst into tears, then leave the room.
-Taken from Local Jokes.
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How to Annoy People in your Office
Make up nicknames for all your co-workers and refer to them only by these names. "That's a good point, Sparky." "No I'm sorry I'm going to have to disagree with you there, Chachi."
Insist that your e-mail address be "xena_goddess_of_fire@companyname.com"
Every time someone asks you to do something, ask them if they want fries with that.
Develop an unnatural fear of staplers.
When answering your phone, talk in a different accent.
Take a picture of your boss and have it framed. Display it in a prominent location on your desk.
Whenever a fellow staff member sneezes, quickly yell "SHUT UP!" If they sneeze a second time, follow up with "I SAID SHUT UP!". A third time, leave the room crying while saying "NO ONE EVER LISTENS TO ME!".
Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU think."
Practice making fax and modem noises.
While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.
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